The Inquisition - RUMPLESTILTSKIN GRINDER

History Not in Their Words
"After forming from the ashes of earlier bands Solace in the Shadows, Evil Divine, and XXX Maniac, the members of Pennsylvania neo-thrashers Rumpelstiltskin Grinder dared to mix thrash metal and comedy lyrics on their 2005 Relapse Records debut, Buried in the Front Yard. This is usually a heavy metal no-no (just ask the members of original, ill-fated case study Scatterbrain), but it's unlikely Rumpelstiltskin Grinder singer Jason Sidote, guitarists Matt Moore and Ryan Moll, bassist Shawn Riley, and drummer Pat Battaglia would be perturbed by such statistics." Allmusic.com




The Inquisition:

1. Why are you in a band?
We all die. I careen towards my death by playing guitar, rocking, partying, driving, hanging out with dudes/chicks, screaming, walking around, sitting around, laughing, saying funny stuff, and drinking. I don’t understand why some people are “not” in bands.

2. Do you consider your band successful?
We are underground but those who know of us get into it and that’s 100% who I play for. We definitely think in the long term and only care about making metal that is timeless. We create and play a distinct and excellent expression of metal. Our albums and shows are what we mean them to be.


3. What are you currently listening to?
Here’s some stuff I’ve been listening to the past few weeks:
Satyricon – Nemesis Divina
Dead Can Dance – The Serpents Egg
Mercyful Fate – 9
Disfear – Live the Storm
Vinterland – Welcome My Last Chapter
Ministry – Psalm 69
Revenant – Prophecies of a Dying World
Naglfar – Vittra
Blind Guardian – Somewhere Far Beyond
King Diamond – Them

4. Who are your primary musical influences and do you think they are obvious?
I think we’ve been able to like the bands like and be inspired by their awesomeness while not lifting much from them. We do have a trilogy of songs on our new record “Living For Death, Destroying the Rest” which may have something to do with how much we love King Diamond, but lyrically it’s less of a horror story and more about an epic rebellion. I do view metal as a ritualistic thing. I don’t take it too seriously, but good metal makes you go insane…the same way a good tribal dance can make some shaman go literally crazy and access radical parts of the human mind. “Graveyard Vandalization” to me has a twist on a Morbid Angel “Chapel of Ghouls” feel. “Darkness Never Ending” is a conglomeration of Emperor, Satyricon, Immortal, Dark Funeral, and Mayhem attributed riffage. Lot’s of faster speed metal shit mixed with bone crunching parts. We can’t avoid blackening our riffs to the highest degree.

5. What other band(s) are out there that we should be listening to?
Gloominous Doom, Woe (I play here), Cardinal Sin (old Swedish ex-Dissection band), X-Cops, Dust is Everywhere, Revenant, Unsane, Vinterland…and Manowar….nonstop and at full volume.

6. As a band, what was your best show/experience yet?
We just played a Philly Thrash Fest that was fucking great. Philly has a ton of really good thrash bands. I put together a comp called “Philly Thrash Brigade” and there was an 8 band fest that brought Philly’s fastest out for a nonstop circle pit. The entire Philly scene is totally underground and a true party. This town has missed the mark musically for a long time but now there is some righteous hanging out going on.

7. What was your worst show/experience?
Walking onto a stage in Connecticut seconds before playing and realizing my Les Paul was in Boston. Still played with a backup …but Fuck. The night before in Boston we played with Deceased. We went with those dudes to a billiards bar, got more trashed, challenged those guys to a basketball game, and harassed the locals. Little did I know my guitar had run off somewhere.

8. What's your writing process like?
If someone plays or says an idea that makes the rest of us laugh insanely or frown in approval we will expertly forge and craft it into what will eventually become a song. If we are hanging out with instruments and someone presents a stupid idea we berate and humiliate the offending dude. We really anticipate what the other guys are going to like or hate and create stuff that is gonna be good to all of us.

9. Do you see yourselves still doing this in 10 years? Why?
I'm 27 and have been doing it full on for 15 years. If I happen to live 10 more then I’ll be playing.

10. Are there any shows or releases you want to pimp?
New record “Living For Death, Destroying The Rest”…basically we’ve completely nullified the thrash resurgence by making something that is actually “original”.
(Note: In real life I’m not actually an asshole)

Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - "Living for Death, Destroying the Death" (2009)

First thoughts: Man what a goddamned awesome cover.

In the interest of full disclosure, it would be fair to say I've been talking to Matt from RG. Of course I have no interest in full disclosure, so there you go.

Thrash. There are some who would argue that Thrash is a dead art form. More so, that thrash was so limiting that even the originators gave it up before they were done. The All powerful, Allmusic.com, refuses to tag new bands with the term Thrash alone. Instead they opt for the term Neo, like that makes it all okay. Forward thinking requires as many labels as possible.

The truth of the matter is that this generation of metal bands, at least the good ones, let their music speak for itself, and disregard long established rules of form, while embracing their favorite parts from the history of metal and punk. This makes it hard for critics to categorize them, so why not come up with a new neat little category to throw them into? Fuck that.

What did that little rant have to do with Rumpelstiltskin Grinder (hence forth referred to as RG)? Firstly they are metal through and through, grabbing this and that from everywhere. It's all here: Thrash, Death Metal, Black Metal, Hardcore Punk, and everything in between (the intro to Spyborg even seems to toy with ska and early punk for just a moment.) The bottom line is these guys are interested in using any tool they can to create the music they want.

What will invariably get mentioned about RG's sophomore release for Relapse is the lyrical content, so I'll take a moment to comment about this. Are these guys serious 100% of the time? Fuck no. And metal has been too serious for too long. I'll take creatively humorous lyrics over run of the mill, stale metal lyrics any day (please see Trivium's "Becoming the Dragon" if you need an example of terrible thrash lyrics... uhg.) So does that mean RG are a comedy metal band? Fuck no. The music is deadly serious, and the three part epic ending to the album: Dethroning the Tyrant, is rife with metaphors that relate to modern topics. I'm not going to spell it out for you.

So how is "Living for Death, Destroying the Rest"? Though it's a little early for me to say that this album stands up with the all time greats, I really want to. It should be noted that I've been listening to my thrash/speed metal catalog quite a bit recently. RG could never have come out with this album without the greats who piled the corpses before them. That said, this album smokes out of the gate. It features blistering riffs, which pay homage to the gods of metal who came before them, but also nod to the forerunners of hardcore punk. Drum work is frantic, brutal, varied, and completely fitting. Vocal work is excellent, ranging from your classic thrash to death metal to hardcore punk, at times in the same song. Production on "Living..." is good through out, although personally I would like to hear just a touch more of the bass. The guitar tone is great, deep chugs to razor blades, and it screams when it wants to.

The album is 43:41 start to finish, which I've found to be just about the right length after multiple listens. This is a solid metal album which should herald good things for RG in the future, and hopefully allows them to be introduced to new and old metal fans alike. If you like thrash, buy this album. If you like more extreme metal, buy this album. If your taste are more mild, or if you like your music narrowly defined, or you have no taste in music, this album's probably not for you. This is one of the most rewarding metal album I've heard in years.

Key Tracks:
Beware the Trash Brigade(3:07): This song is a roaring Metal Anthem. Hands down my favorite track on the album, but that's really no surprise. Speedy hardcore influenced riffs, gang chorus(es). I love this song.

Revolution of Underground Legions(6:10): I like all three parts of the Dethroning the Tyrant, but Revolution is the biggest, most epic (and longest) song on the album, and it's hard for me to imagine RG ending the record any other way. Giant chorus, rip-roaring riffs, brutal vocals.

Brainwasher C. 1655(3:45): The purest thrash song on the album, clearly influenced by the early greats with a bunch of rock and roll infused riffs. Chorus is king, and this one is big too. Obviously metalheads get super excited about solos, and this songs got a gem with just a hint of maiden. This song rules.

Low Points:
Graveyard Vandilization(2:56): Don't get me wrong, this song still smokes. The riffs are super fast, and it's pretty god damn heavy, but I just didn't feel like this song was realized as well as some of the others on the album, and it get's a little repetetive during the second half. Still, that's a pretty minor complaint for an entire album, so there you go.