History Not in Their Words
"After forming from the ashes of earlier bands Solace in the Shadows, Evil Divine, and XXX Maniac, the members of Pennsylvania neo-thrashers Rumpelstiltskin Grinder dared to mix thrash metal and comedy lyrics on their 2005 Relapse Records debut, Buried in the Front Yard. This is usually a heavy metal no-no (just ask the members of original, ill-fated case study Scatterbrain), but it's unlikely Rumpelstiltskin Grinder singer Jason Sidote, guitarists Matt Moore and Ryan Moll, bassist Shawn Riley, and drummer Pat Battaglia would be perturbed by such statistics." Allmusic.com

The Inquisition:

1. Why are you in a band?

We all die. I careen towards my death by playing guitar, rocking, partying, driving, hanging out with dudes/chicks, screaming, walking around, sitting around, laughing, saying funny stuff, and drinking. I don’t understand why some people are “not” in bands.

2. Do you consider your band successful?
We are underground but those who know of us get into it and that’s 100% who I play for. We definitely think in the long term and only care about making metal that is timeless. We create and play a distinct and excellent expression of metal. Our albums and shows are what we mean them to be.

3. What are you currently listening to?
Here’s some stuff I’ve been listening to the past few weeks:
Satyricon – Nemesis Divina
Dead Can Dance – The Serpents Egg
Mercyful Fate – 9
Disfear – Live the Storm
Vinterland – Welcome My Last Chapter
Ministry – Psalm 69
Revenant – Prophecies of a Dying World
Naglfar – Vittra
Blind Guardian – Somewhere Far Beyond
King Diamond – Them

4. Who are your primary musical influences and do you think they are obvious?
I think we’ve been able to like the bands like and be inspired by their awesomeness while not lifting much from them. We do have a trilogy of songs on our new record “Living For Death, Destroying the Rest” which may have something to do with how much we love King Diamond, but lyrically it’s less of a horror story and more about an epic rebellion. I do view metal as a ritualistic thing. I don’t take it too seriously, but good metal makes you go insane…the same way a good tribal dance can make some shaman go literally crazy and access radical parts of the human mind. “Graveyard Vandalization” to me has a twist on a Morbid Angel “Chapel of Ghouls” feel. “Darkness Never Ending” is a conglomeration of Emperor, Satyricon, Immortal, Dark Funeral, and Mayhem attributed riffage. Lot’s of faster speed metal shit mixed with bone crunching parts. We can’t avoid blackening our riffs to the highest degree.

5. What other band(s) are out there that we should be listening to?
Gloominous Doom, Woe (I play here), Cardinal Sin (old Swedish ex-Dissection band), X-Cops, Dust is Everywhere, Revenant, Unsane, Vinterland…and Manowar….nonstop and at full volume.

6. As a band, what was your best show/experience yet?
We just played a Philly Thrash Fest that was fucking great. Philly has a ton of really good thrash bands. I put together a comp called “Philly Thrash Brigade” and there was an 8 band fest that brought Philly’s fastest out for a nonstop circle pit. The entire Philly scene is totally underground and a true party. This town has missed the mark musically for a long time but now there is some righteous hanging out going on.

7. What was your worst show/experience?
Walking onto a stage in Connecticut seconds before playing and realizing my Les Paul was in Boston. Still played with a backup …but Fuck. The night before in Boston we played with Deceased. We went with those dudes to a billiards bar, got more trashed, challenged those guys to a basketball game, and harassed the locals. Little did I know my guitar had run off somewhere.

8. What's your writing process like?
If someone plays or says an idea that makes the rest of us laugh insanely or frown in approval we will expertly forge and craft it into what will eventually become a song. If we are hanging out with instruments and someone presents a stupid idea we berate and humiliate the offending dude. We really anticipate what the other guys are going to like or hate and create stuff that is gonna be good to all of us.

9. Do you see yourselves still doing this in 10 years? Why?
I'm 27 and have been doing it full on for 15 years. If I happen to live 10 more then I’ll be playing.

10. Are there any shows or releases you want to pimp?
New record “Living For Death, Destroying The Rest”…basically we’ve completely nullified the thrash resurgence by making something that is actually “original”.
(Note: In real life I’m not actually an asshole)

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